So, What Did I Decide? (If you're looking for pictures, you'll be disappointed)

Despite offers of admission from both Columbia and Vanderbilt, I decided to attend the University of Utah. Crazy, right? Let me explain.

Let's eliminate Columbia pretty quickly. I didn't want to go there. I didn't consider it.

Vanderbilt. I really, really wanted to attend Vanderbilt. It has the highest ranked Sped program in the highest ranked School of Education in the country. I wanted to live in Nashville. I was excited about going there. I was offered a Department of Education grant that would cover my tuition (expensive; Vandy is a private university) as well as provide me with a $700/month stipend. In exchange for the money I would have been required to work 20 hours/week for the department and I would have to commit to teaching for four years after graduating or my grant would be converted to loans. And I wouldn't be able to have a job while in school.


$700 a month isn't bad, but according to the Financial Aid office at Vandy, it costs about $18,000 a year including all expenses (housing, food, insurance, books, fees, transportation, personal, etc.). Even though these expenses are almost always overestimated, I knew that $700 a month was not going to be enough to pay for housing, utilities, texts, and insurance- four very, very basic expenses that I can't get around. I would have to take out substantial loans to survive. I don't want to take out a loan to pay another loan (car payment). I'd rather be able to work part time. In addition, the grant only covers my speciality (my TVI- that's Teacher of the Visually Impaired) credits, not the 15 licensure credits I need too, so I would have to get loans to pay for those.


I had to let Vanderbilt know my decision by April 15. The University of Utah didn't make their decisions until March 15 and it took my letter forever to get here because they sent it to my address in Hawaii (what's the the point of asking for a forwarding address and forwarding date if you're not going to use it?) so eventually I just called and told them I needed to know if I had been admitted. I had been, of course (Hello? Vandy and Columbia? How much would I have laughed if I'd been turned down by the U of U?).


So I didn't know what to do. I thought and prayed. About a week and a half after I talked to the U, I called and talked to the program advisor and asked her about funding. I wanted to know if they had gotten their Department of Education grant. They still haven't been able to apply apparently- something about the government has yet to release the forms for this year (which must mean Vanderbilt was offering me old money they had saved up). I let them know why I was asking (another school had offered me funding) and we talked about some other things I had questions about. A few minutes after I hung up, Jan called back and told me that she had just been to talk to the head of the Sped department and had received permission on the spot to offer me a Deans Research Assistant Scholarship as they really wanted me to attend the U because I was their most competitive applicant (let's pretend here that they received A LOT of applications . . . they didn't). Said scholarship covers tuition (important for the U as I'm not a resident and tuition there for the first year would be just as high as Vanderbilt), fees, and most of insurance (my part is approx. $200/year). I would have to do ten hours a week of work for the department and I would be able to work twenty hours a week elsewhere if I thought I had to. Plus, it also includes almost $1,000 a month stipend and there is no post-graduation service requirement.


Decision making just got a million times more difficult. Add to this the fact the Erie's co-breeder lives in Draper, Utah. If I went to Utah, I'd have her right there to help me learn all the things about owning a Vizsla (hunting) and a show dog.


But I wanted to go to Vanderbilt!!! (That was a really big whine.)


So I prayed a lot. I talked to friends from all over. I talked to family. I posted on FB. I had a professor who was absolutely adamant that the best decision was to go to Vandy. This professor's opinion is very important to me- he was the one that taught me that not only should I strive for the very best education available, but also that I was qualified to get it. I really respect his opinion and that made things more difficult too.


I read the scriptures. I thought several times I was ready to make a decision . . . "Seek not for riches but for wisdom, and behold the mysteries of God shall be unfolded to you, and then shall you be made rich" (Doctrine and Covenants 6:7; one among many scriptures that I felt were leading me towards Vanderbilt). A blessing I received once: "Do not settle for anything that is mediocre in your personal life, your education, and in the important choices that are before you." Vanderbilt?


It still didn't feel right. And I was extremely reluctant to possibly accept $60,000 in loans to get a teaching license. Maybe someday, if I'm really lucky and work for an extremely high paying school district, I'll make that much in a year, but it's not likely.


One of the things that I was concerned about was my ability to pay loans back if I have a family in the future. If I do get married and have kids, I want to be able to stay home with them. That would be impaired both by my service commitment as well as the amount of loans I would have- it's unlikely a future spouse could make enough money to support us and pay back both mine and his student debt- and that's assuming I was okay asking someone to do that, which I wasn't.


I went to the LDS Church website and searched for "education debt." I found an article where President Hinckley talked about just this thing: a young woman who had been accepted at several prestigious grad schools and her first choice would have required her to get into substantial debt. She chose a different, less expensive option because while she recognized that such large debt might not impair her chances of getting married, it would most likely prevent her from staying home with her children in the future. Exactly what I was thinking!


I prayed and prayed and prayed and really did not feel like either answer was right or wrong. What the heck was going on here?


Talking to different people about it helped a lot. I talked to Tonks (umm, that would be Lindsey) a lot- she had a great deal of really good advice ("Sometimes when things seem too easy, and everything falls into place, it's because that is the right choice."). Finally, at one point, the day before I had to notify Vanderbilt I said to her, "You know, maybe I got my answer a long time ago. When I first decided I wanted to be a TVI, I decided I was going to go to the U. Maybe I'm not getting an answer now because that prayer was actually answered a long time ago."


When I prayed about that, there was relief and confirmation. I had my answer. As disappointing for me as it is to give up a Vanderbilt (a "Southern Ivy"- that was another whine) education, for whatever reason (many of which I actually do see), the University of Utah is where the Lord wants me. I'll be able to graduate with quite manageable amounts of debt, I'll be close to home, I'll be near Erie's breeder and will be able to pursue goals I have there (I've wanted Erie for much longer than I wanted to be a TVI), there's a great Institute program at the University of Utah, and I'm rather excited about the research I'll be doing at the University. It will provide me with opportunities very few TVI students get.


Plus. . .











. . . there's more Mormon boys in Utah ;-p

19 weeks

She has creepy eyes in most of these. Sorry!

Woops, that's the not the 19 week old. But she deserved some recognition too and see how much she wanted her picture taken? I love Cami-lam.

Look at Me!

Erie is doing great. I've been planning on updating about her for a while but now that I'm doing it, I really don't feel like it. So real fast: she's a sweetheart but she needs to learn to keep her feet and her teeth to herself, she loves practicing obedience exercises, and I've become quite efficient at sleeping through her "I want my breakfast" whines.

Enjoy the photos.

It's about Life

We hear so frequently around Easter sentiments like "Jesus died for our sins" or "He gave His life for us." That's true. And His death was necessary. Without it He wouldn't have been able to do the important part. But it is not the most important part- if the only miracle Jesus had managed during that tragic and joyous weekend was to die, we wouldn't be celebrating anything at all. He would have been just another man.

Along with the act of the Atonement (when Jesus actually took our sins, griefs, pains and illnesses, and all burdens upon Himself; in other words the act that enables us to have eternal spiritual life) the real miracle of Easter- and the reason we celebrate it- is the resurrection. There is a reason we call it Resurrection Sunday. Yes, death is a necessary precursor to resurrection, but people die all the time. The event we celebrate on Easter is a miracle and sacred to us because Jesus Christ was the first person ever to be resurrected and through His resurrection we will all live eternally as well.

When we celebrate Easter, let's not dwell on the fact that Christ died. Everyone dies. People even sometimes die for other people. Not everyone can gather all the problems in the world upon him or herself and carry that immense burden, then suffer torture, and crucifixion and then live again.

Remember that- He lives again. That is the message and the miracle of Easter.

Growing Up

Erie is sooooo big! I don't know how it happened. I had to move the divider panel in her crate. She takes up half of it now. Big or not, though, I think she's too thin. I've been increasing her food and I need to keep doing so. Vizslas are very athletic dogs so she's supposed to be neat and trim, but I think I can see too much hip bone.

On Tuesday, I'll have had her for a month. While I don't see daily or even weekly improvement on the barking, if I look back over the past four weeks I do. She has gotten better. She's on her very best behavior when I wrap her up in her jacket, put her blanket over her (this is in addition to the several blankets layering the bottom of the crate), and give her a hot water bottle "pillow." She sighs in satisfaction and slips right off into dreamland without a peep. Now if only it were realistic to do that every time I have to stick her in the crate for a moment.

She was supposed to start puppy class last week but it keeps getting pushed back; not enough people have signed up. Hopefully it will actually start next Saturday. I'm anxious to get her socialized. Socializing a puppy that has no right to go everywhere is much different than socializing a GDB pup.

We've been working on "target" using a target stick. I'm closely following the program outlined in Morgan Spector's Clicker Training for Obedience. Kinda. I did teach sit before target. But other than that I'm following it. It's a great book for those training for the competition ring but also for those who just want a dog that's well trained around the house.

She's a real sweetheart with just a few minor issues (besides the barking): 1) mouthing at my face, 2) playing on me, 3) jumping up on furniture constantly and getting right back on after being removed. We're working on all but it requires a great deal of patience.

Vizlsas are often described as "Velcro dogs" because their favorite position is wherever they need to be to be touching you. I thought I understood what it was like to have a Velcro dog. Turns out, mine weren't actually. I have a new found respect for this term!

She's a cute girl . . .

Money, Money, Money

Money, Money, Money . . .

You know that song?

Anyhow, I got news yesterday that BYUH is going to pay for me to go to a psychology conference (Association for Psychological Science) in Boston over Memorial Day Weekend to present three research projects I completed while at school. One on placebos (are bad tasting placebos more effective than good tasting ones), does Hamilton's Rule hold out in the case of swine flu, and can placing Polynesian students in ethnic specific classes improve their retention rate. I'm first author on the placebo and second on the other two. Being the vain person I am I keep checking the website to see if the program is up so I can see my name. I only did one project last year so I'm excited to be on three this year. I love psychology and I love research!

I'm super excited. I've never been to the east coast before, unless you count a lay over in the DC airport and a week at Disney World. I don't count those (obviously not the first and Florida is ... Florida, not the east coast). I'm hoping to go a day early (before the student's from Hawaii arrive) and be a tourist before I have to become a conference participant.

Also, I got an email from Vanderbilt telling me I have been selected for funding for my Master's Program. It pays tuition and a monthly stipend. More on that coming as the program director asked if she could call and talk to me about it, so I'll update as I get to ask her some questions.

So, exciting stuff.

Yay.

Where did my tiny, little puppy go?

Erie sometimes pees when she's excited so my normal routine is to pick her up and carry her outside first thing in the morning.

Today when I picked her up, I thought "Where is the little puppy? This one is a big chunky girl!"

Now I'm really curious how much weight she has gained. She was 15 when I got her 11 days ago.